Flirting – from a little bit of fun to all-out frolicking fancies. Whether you use it to find the next love of your life, or simply to feel good about yourself. Flirting is one of life’s little extravagances. So, do you play coy or should you be bold and brash? The age-old dilemma of How to Flirt never seems to go away. For now though, here are a few flirting tips, some simple do’s and don’ts to nudge you along the right track…
It can be nerve-wracking to put yourself out there and approach someone you are sexually attracted to (and if you don’t find them attractive then why bother flirting in the first place?). There is, however, a time and place to playfully tell someone they are a bit of alright. Whilst flirting is generally deemed acceptable, it does require care, understanding and empathy. If you behave in a way that starts to make the other person feel uncomfortable, this can be seen as unwanted behaviour and even sexual harassment. (This recent article introducing BBC Three’s new social experiment ‘Is This Sexual Harassment?’ is a good place to start if you’re not sure.)
Are there any flirting signs that you can pick up on? Have you ever caught someone’s gaze as you look across the room? That little knowing look between two people can say a lot. Holding someone’s gaze for a second or two can work wonders before you casually smile and look away.
Be aware of what they are doing once you have looked away. Perhaps casually look back and, depending on your mood – offer a lustful look, smile or even wink!
Whatever you do, do not stare at someone until they feel so uncomfortable that they are forced to turn around – or worse – walk away. Complete flirtation killer right there!
Offer a casual smile across the room. If you’re passing your flirting-fancy, make sure your eye contact is accompanied with a cheeky little grin. Let them know you’re up for a bit of fun.
Make the smile genuine. Fake smiles are so obvious. A real smile will light up your whole face, not just your mouth and make you so much more appealing.
If you’re feeling a little more lustful, why not try smiling slowly? OK this sounds a bit bizarre I’ll admit, but if you’re holding a gaze with someone without any interaction – a slow smile is definitely a sexy smile, according to the ‘How to Flirt with a Guy’ manual. Try it.
Try not to make it forced or unnatural. Grinning from ear to ear will seem more cheesy than sexy, whilst a smile that isn’t real won’t affect your eyes (yes you smile from your eyes too when it’s a real one) and will just make you appear fake.
You’ve got the eye contact, you’ve let them know you’re interested – now is the time to strike up a conversation. What you say is completely up to you, but whatever you do – keep it light! Something as easy as paying a little compliment or offering a piece of gum can break the ice. Or be a little bolder and introduce yourself (assuming you don’t know the person you’re flirting with, and you have decided not to play it mysterious).
Whatever you do, try to gauge their response and keep it short and sweet. Leaving them wanting more is far better than going on and on until they are bored to tears. Similarly, if they seem disinterested or unresponsive – then they are probably not that into you, so it may be time to move on.
Use cheesy chat up lines and TMI. You don’t want to come across as the person with the cringeable banter, nor do you want to be sharing too much information about yourself, now is not the time to be personal. By keeping it simple, succinct – and maybe a little sexy – you’re bound to make more of an impression.
Body language says so much more about ourselves than what actually comes out of our mouth. Keep your body engaged, and by that I don’t mean actually engage them in bodily contact, I simply mean make sure you are facing them, your body is facing them and your body language is open and encouraging.
Casually participate in a little touch here or there. A little stroke of an arm or shoulder can say so much. If they are into you as much as you are into them, you’ll sense it – and they’ll be reciprocating before you can say ‘flirtatious fancies’.
I do not recommend entering their personal space. There is a whopping difference between a little touch of an arm and physically getting so close to someone that they are reeling away from you. There is a fine line between flirting, and being downright invasive – if they are responding by subtly moving away or showing any signs of discomfort – it’s time to move back and rethink your How to Flirt strategy..
On a side note: if you are thinking of invading someone’s privacy with a little close contact – think body odour and check you are fresh as a daisy before entering into battle!
Paying someone a casual compliment here or there can really help to break the ice if they are playing hard to get. Keep your compliments light and natural. They should be part of the conversation and not at all forced.
Try not to make your compliments too personal. Complimenting someone’s eyes or hair is so much more appropriate than their bum, boobs or booty. And remember the rules of how to flirt with a girl, “if you can’t think of anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”.
If you have successfully played your part, your flirting is fruitful and you fancy taking it one step further – it’s probably time to close the deal and get a date / number. Remember everything you’ve done so far, now is not the time to get serious, but suggesting you could swap numbers, or perhaps meeting for a coffee is never a bad thing. If everything else has gone well so far, there should be no reason for them to turn you down on your offer of a first date.
If your flirting hasn’t been reciprocated, or you feel that they just aren’t that into you, perhaps leave the deal closing for another time and place. Think positively, you’ve had a bit of fun in the process but tonight just wasn’t your night and leave it there. You could always share flirting tips with your circle of friends ready for your next foray into the realms of flirting.
Finally, now you have mastered the art of ‘How to Flirt’ successfully, remember the biggest don’t of all: Don’t take it too seriously. It’s just a bit of fun after all…
If you need some futher inspiration the check out some of our other posts…
Maggie doesn’t hold back when it comes to helping you enhance your assets. A serial underwear shopper, with several top drawers to prove it, Maggie is a positive fountain of knowledge when it comes to your undies…
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